Tuesday, January 26, 2016

LBGT: Let's Bash Gays Together

               I come in peace I swear, but let's discuss this title and give me a chance to explain. Picture this, we have this female for the sake of the example let's call her Pamela. Pamela grew up in a single parent home, it was a house full of women. Her mother was strong, so she did everything on her own. She raised Pamela and her sibling showing them the true meaning of "Girl Power" and instilled in them a strong sense of independence. Once Pamela got older and starting to experience physical attractions, women always gave her a stronger feeling. However Pamela was raised with very religious grandparents so she always fought with the "your going to hell if your're gay" feeling. So Pamela continued to go a and date guys and be the typical teenager. When Pamela turned 16 she met a guy. Everything a 16 year old ever wanted, he was in college, car, and job and he wanted her. As time progressed the relationship turned bad, so bad that she was raped by him. After years of praying, crying, healing, therapy and soul searching Pamela felt safe again to start dating. By this time she was in adulthood, and she had then grew apart from the religion yet still spiritually grounded, and decided she would fulfill this desire and the hidden love for women. Her first girl experience was just as mind blowing and soul touching as she imagined and she then knew, this is where her happiness lies.

             Now Pamela is at a point in her life where she finally feels comfortable standing in her truth and embrace the fact that she still had a slight attraction to men. Now does that attraction outweigh her attraction to women, nope not by a long shot however, she was willing to explore this attraction just to see if this is what she really wanted. After her first encounter with the opposite sex she was sure, more confident that if she must be labeled she is now bi-sexual. After the many years of her standing firm in her lesbian title, and being open enough to admit she was once a part of the "bash the bi's" club she was now on the other side *insert Adele Hello here*. For a while Pamela battled on who to tell, no one knew about her encounter and how much she enjoyed it because her dear close friends are not only lesbians, but masculine centered lesbians. Her thoughts would consist of, what would they say? Will they stay by my side or leave immediately? Would they now place me in the horrid stigma of bi-sexual women? It ate her up inside so finally she told them. The love and embrace was everything Pamela wanted and needed. Now Pamela knows that the rest of the world may not be so acceptive for many view bi-sexuals as "confused", but she had her those that loved her for her and now Pamela wakes up every morning living her truth.

                        Unlike Pamela not many can say they can wake up and live in their truth, and I believe in the LBGT community the B and the T seem to get shamed the most. This is not just in society but unfortunately within our own community. You would think since the rest of society already outcast and continuously frown upon us that we within the community would be more caring and supportive of our own. Yet on a daily basis whether it social media or even out in public I see my fellow brothers and sisters in the community frowning, and being nasty and derogatory towards our own. Its like the famous William Shakespeare play Julius Caesar, the quote "et tu, Brute" comes to mind. Now to sit and say that some under those 2 letters don't make it easy for the derogatory terms to be allowed is truth. Those that tend to withhold important information such as true gender identity, or not being upfront with where their attraction lies tend to happen often. Right now as I type there is a transgender man/woman who is talking to someone and not telling them their true gender, however that could be with anyone. Its a married man right now telling a single young woman he is "divorced" or "getting a divorce" with absolutely no intention on doing so. It's a female right now telling some single young man that her kids are her nieces and nephews, deception is everywhere. However this can not be a label put on everyone under these letters. There are transgender men/women who let you know up front who you are getting. There are bi-sexual women and men that will tell you upfront I am bi-sexual. There are those who live in their truth DAILY. I don't believe in one person being a representation for all, that asinine. Each are their own individual living comfortably in their own skin and will not be held back by any stigma period!

                         Many may agree and feel "well this is someone's preference why let what others think of them stop them?" Because let's be honest it does affect them some way. To look to at every social media outlet, and television and constantly see the continuous misconceptions being played and discussed affects those who are currently bi-sexual or transgender or would like to come out as bi-sexual or trans mental and emotional state. Speaking on my behalf, it wasn't easy at all. I had hella insecurities and the responses to the many questions that I was about to face. To be honest I didn't have the answers Sway, because I'm still in the learning process. A wise person once said "You learn something new everyday" and that includes yourself.  It was the harsh responses of previous associates that stood in their truth that had me scared. By all means, I have visions and goals and ideas to share with the world and damn it I want to taken seriously. It is a very difficult task when people are adding to the stigma on daily. I mean who's to say this isn't the beginning of a change? Hell what if my blog is the blog that cleared the hatred within our own community so that we may stand stronger in numbers for the real battle which is society. I mean a girl can dream huh? At the end of the day I'm responsible for me and my mark that I leave in the world. Although the hippie part of me wants us the L B G and T to all be standing proudly under that flag, its just not that easy. I know that me myself (Pamela) will definitely play my part in ending the stigma.


"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Monday, January 11, 2016

Write The Vision

" A man without a vision is a man without a future. A man without a future will always return to his past." -P.K. Bernard. As the year came to a close I have saw a few of my visions come to pass that I didn't really see coming. However, I still have work that needs to be done on a personal and career level. I tend to set goals and have visions in my mind often and I do everything with them but write them down. By the time the opportunity comes around, well everything that shouldn't have sidetracked me did and now I don't remember anything. It sucks, it's frustrating, and makes me feel that maybe that opportunity may not come back around. So one of the many changes I have decided starting the new year is what I want to call the write out. Now I'm not coming with the typical "new year new me bladah bladah bladah" but yet discipline myself today for a better tomorrow. So I ask have you written out your vision board yet?

Now some may have already heard and started or already completed your board. For a few you may not be sure on where to start. Well here are a few things to keep in mind while planning out your vision board.

1. A vision board is everything you've envisioned in plain site. When you close your eyes and daydream, or when you calculate a plan you typically in your head see how its going to turn out through your eyes. So why not print out what you see. Whether it be finishing school, traveling more, reconnecting with someone or something. Whatever it may be that puts a fire under you and fills your heart with joy. That constant thought, that is what is called your vision.

2. Nothing is too big or too small, don't minimize anything If it's Paris for summer vacation then put up all the sights you want to see when you get there. If its a BMW put up a photo of the exact car you want. You want to see the things that motivate you to do more in life. Some may say speaking it into existence (Isaiah 55:11- So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return  unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper [in the thing] whereto I sent it) those fluid in faith understands this and how important it is when making your vision plain.

3. A little information is better than none. Start finding out the beginning steps to make the vision come to life. I'm currently working on a shirt line that caters to the plus size community. I have already started looking into what's needed to start this the right way, and I feel so close to this vision being complete. So whether it's a restaurant or even a non-profit organization start finding out things that you can do right now to get that started.

4. I believe that it's ok to have 2 boards, one for the parents and one for kids. Parents can then set goals for themselves outside the family. Spa Ma Days and for my single fathers Daddy's Duty-less Day. Set plans as a family such as 2 vacations this year instead of 1. To spend more time talking to each other before it gets to a point where everyone is talking at each other. For couples start making date nights more frequent. Listen to your mate as they speak in general conversations and surprise them with a creative date or the date of their dreams. At the end of the day don't forget the things that made you a family. Kids are included, start them early. Whether it's all A's throughout the first semester, or maybe being more active in school (clubs, bands, sports), or preparing for college whatever their vision is help them put it on a board. Make it a family date and everyone work on their board together.

5. When it comes to finance, print out any of the many saving challenges. Choose the one that fits perfectly with your finances, there is such a large variety that way you don't have to try to do something that is not within range. I found the most helpful one on https://www.pinterest.com/explore/savings-challenge/ 

At the end of the day a vision board is there as a reminder not to take the eyes off of the prize. Remember not to let negative energy and people around you while in the process of completing your goals. Start on the small things now like knowledge and the beginning steps, because we must crawl before we walk. But after a while the small stuff can then lead to bigger things, things that will bring you one step closer to your vision. Stay strong, stay focused, you got this!

Peace And Blessings
Swagg P
"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Sunday, December 27, 2015

End Of The Year Reaches

Well readers we are all at the wonderful time of the year where everyone with a social media account goes on an entirely long list of what they are not going to do in 2016, and now memes have made it even more convenient. Now Im not the one to say whether out not that person will or will not do so but according to Forbes approximately 8% of people actually keep their New Years Resolution, mighty dim right? You also have your closures, those that just need to clean and clear out their conscience because bringing that into the new year is not an option. Now keep in mind some people take this time of the year to "feasts on their prey" those that take their misfortunes and use them as a ploy tacit on another's weaken emotions, no, not those, they gets no love from me. Im speaking of those really in their heart committed to make a change for the better. I applaud those, the shit aint easy, especially when you cant see the wrong you did, but something in your heart just cant let them go. That person has impacted your life so much that they were one of the lucky ones to become embedded in your heart, and to cut them out, is to cut a piece of your heart. And yeah you know that time heals all wounds, but who wants to expect a wound coming? However I myself have a closure. Mine is a closure of a what was once a beautiful friendship. It was a tale of 2 misinterpreted individuals who met each others needs like no other. Whatever I needed whether it was a shopping trip or date he was the one to call (using the correct pronoun for the situation). We had dreams that we were gonna help each other to achieve and jealously and hatred reared its ugly head and next thing you know, no calls returned, no text, no nothing. Will we ever be the same if paths ever cross, I know realistically no, but just know I miss you and this open letter is for you, may God send it your way. For those who may have had a falling out with someone and you know damn well it was something you could have gotten past, let me say PRIDE will get your whole life put on the sideline. Because why put off tomorrow what can be done today. Why let something a small and dumb as pride let you loose out on a lifetime friend. Don't ever let the bad outweigh the good, because finding good in people nowadays is finding a needle in a haystack. So just something to think over let this letter inspire you..

Dear Mr. West,

Last night I had a dream man real crazy. It was a dream of deep down how I miss you so much. In my dream I was holding your trans man hand and we were talking and laughing and dancing like we used to. Holding each other oh so close like we used to. Your hearty accent chopping away at my heart like it used to. At work overnight you used to satisfy my insomnia appetite and until the sun came me and you shared our lives our hopes our failures and downfalls with each other...it don't feel right if I do it with another. Because I know somewhere deep inside there is a robe gavel and jury waiting and with you I have no doubt that when we hang up and you call back you still love me no matter what and that's a known fact. But what is unknown is where the future lies, will our paths cross again or is this the year our friendship has died. And if it is not written in Gods plans than so be it but pray for me because this lost will be particularly hard because all ever wanted was you me and our unbreakable bond under some island stars...I'm sorry...ttyl...or goodbye.

Peace and Blessings
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Sunday, December 13, 2015


iGrind because God grants me a new opportunity to do so everyday he wakes me up
iGrind because I have future generations that will be affected by my current decisions
iGrind because I never want to see another bad day if I don't have to
iGrind for those who couldn't find a better way in enough time
iGrind for those whose light was dimmed way too soon.
iGrind for those who will soon carry my namesake
iGrind for those paying with their lives for our race sake (moment of silence)
iGrind because this is what I have been taught since I was small
Either go for it all, or don't go for it at all...

Peace and Blessings
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Friday, December 4, 2015

End of The Year Purge Prt. 1 (Poetry Flow)

  All I ever wanted anyone to see is that I am a woman. I am a woman who loves love, in any form. I am a woman who love the love I receive from God on daily basis from the time he awakens me until the time I slumber and grants me the mercies of a brand new day. Even when I don't always do right he still love me. I don't have to pretend to be anyone else but me with him, and yet unconditional love still exist.

  The love from a mother to a daughter. The "No matter what you do you are my child" kind of love. The "You love who you love and I still love you" kind of love. The late night hospital visits, the moments that scared you and you prayed to God for him to spare your child's life love. The we can praise and worship together love, that real best friends til the end type love.

  The warmth of family and loved ones "Glad to see you" kind of love, the "I'm so proud of you" love, the "I look to you and up to you" love. The "I know you always got my back" love, the feeling when all ya people in one place chilling love. Where have you been or the I'm sorry kinda love. Even those who spew evil lies and unnecessary false statements continuously from the moment they wake up until the moment they lay their head to sleep, guess what, that's love too, just an alternative way of showing it I guess.

  The love that I yet long for is that wake up in the morning and lay down at night with you for life  love. Out of nowhere let's take a trip love. That I ride, we ride kinda love. It's a we us our thing and get still hold your own kind of love. The "We refuse the see the bottom" type love. That I want to be here kind of love, I will fight for you kind of love. I will never give up on you, I'm never too far kind of love. I'm gonna love you through your pain and do my best to never cause you pain kind of love. That when we are old and gray that you will promise me that you will look into my eyes and see the person you first met and fall in love with me all over again, for the rest of your life..love. Just, Love.

The Rhythm of My Heart

Peace and Blessings
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Saturday, November 28, 2015

3 Month Dating Holiday Rules

I'm always coming to you guys with blogs that inform and leave a message on your minds and heart. Well this entry is what i like to call funny/serious and this is for those who like myself has met someone and have recently started dating. Now here comes the holidays and your are thinking in your head "Finally someone to answer the question, so are you dating?" and then you wish a large spotlight shines down on your date and a background announcer introduces him or her. Yeah that would be great, but there is this thing called reality that may not let that scenario happen. So here are some of my tips on 3 month dating and holidays:


                                    3 Month Dating Holiday Rules

1. Gifts are appreciated, they are appreciated more when you pick on something through general conversation that they may have mentioned they wanted, so be attentive.

2. Do not leave kids out, you knew they came with kids after a few conversations be as godly as possible and take car of the kids and the elderly please geesh. (Only if asked to be a participant)

3. We will have our own SEPARATE Christmas I wont merge you into my dysfunction any earlier than 6 months tops, gives you time to build your tolerance level and possibly mine because only God knows whats going on with your people (insert no shade here)

4. For those with the over-achiever spirit now is a time to put it away because it is the most small simple intimate moments that make the best memories, so don't go get a big ass tree and a dancing Santa when its just you and them tone it down.

5. Invites are acceptable if that person has no family or no place to go, show kindness God will smile on you for it.

6. Don't volunteer too much information too soon, you are not at a interview stage point in your relationship there is no need to submit work info, gym info, etc. that's how pop ups happen NOPE!

7. Most importantly don't start making wedding plans after one successful holiday you make plans after the 3rd horrific dysfunctional one if you haven't left by then you wont be leaving face it.

Now I'm no expert so by all means you don't have to follow these particular rules however, I have lived and learned and it comes with experience. But if you feel as if hell maybe you have tried it all and why not try one more thing...just thank me later....just kidding!

Peace and Blessings,
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Friday, November 20, 2015

Verbal and Cyber Homicide

     I believe the old saying goes "What you eat don't make me shit", meaning what you have going on has absolutely nothing to do with anything I have going on. Yet it seems as if social media and over heated emotions has made it available for other to state opinion and abrasively place their distaste of others life decisions. Cyber bullying is the act or harming or harassing via any type of information technology (computer, laptop, cell phone, tablet/IPad). According to U.S. Legal Definitions, cyber-bullying could be limited to a person spreading rumors or gossips about a person on the internet bringing about hatred in other's minds; or it may go as far as personally identifying victims and publishing materials that may cause severe damage to their character and humiliating them. Now

      Cyber-bullying became the focus when young teenagers would get online whether it be chat rooms or social media sites (Myspace) and basically say anything they wanted with no consequences behind it, mind it I said TEENAGERS someone will catch that later however I digress. However I have witness a large  portion of adults forming on the same platforms now (Facebook now gives you the option to set up your own "groups") as well as other social media outlets and truly fulfilling the true definition of "cyberbullying". I have personally witness some things so horrendous on my TL and I sit and what other find entertaining my first thought is "Where is that person's mind frame right now". I say that because 1 in 4 adults which is approximately 61.5 million Americans alone suffer from some sort of mental disorder or illness with only a 25% of them actually knowing and recognizing it. I also know because I am one in that 61.5 million. So whenever I see it I have now learned not to even look and follow the entertainment, that is even worse, because lets just say this embarrassment was the last one that this person could take. Because you never fully know what all a person truly has going on in their life what if this social media spectacle was all that they could bare and the only way they see out is death. Because the truth is suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the U.S. (more common than homicide) and the third leading cause of death for ages 15 to 24 years. Also Proverbs 18:21 states "Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and those that love it shall eat the fruit therof. Now is where my title become full circle. The moment that you get online, no the moment the thought comes in your head on what you plan to say and or do to bring this persons character and self esteem down to its complete lowest you are in the act of committing verbal and cyber homicide.

                   Here is where my confusion comes in and also my unwarranted opinion. The simple question is WHAT IN THE ENTIRE HELL DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU? No, seriously. I mean can you take this person business or embarrassment and go to your leasing office and drop it off and say "Hey here's Jane Doe's business is that enough for this month rent?" You can not call you local light company up and say "Hey did you know Bobby XYZ did this, ok does this take of my balance?" Each and every time guaranteed they person on the other end is going so to say and followed by a very confused look. You gained 0.00 extra on your check for tearing down someone, you gain NOTHING. It also make me wonder what issues as an adult have you not worked out from your childhood, yes childhood because your behavior is that of a child. The overwhelming part about it is, this behavior is coming from adults with kids, who are doing nothing but raising another generation of verbal and cyber homicidal people. I ask beg and plead, when does this cycle end? When will we go back to the days of using social media for its actual intent, to be social with family friends that you don't have immediate contact with. I am pretty sure it was create with the intent to unify instead its causing people to loose their lives. Can we please take back social media for its actual intent, uplift and not destroy is the key.


Peace and Blessings
Swagg P

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"