Getting "Down" on the Low: An "Out" in the Open Discussion About Homosexuality in the African American Community

We are all familiar with the term "Down Low" brother thanks to J.L. King who took us on a "Journey of In the Lives of Straight Black Men, Who Sleep With Men" back in 2005 on the Oprah Winfrey Show. And while it has been some 8 years since light was shed on a phenomenon that is said to aid in the demise of the black community and the declining health of African-American women due to HIV/AIDS, the concept of "Down Low" is still very prevalent and just as much a taboo subject within the black community now as it was then. Over the years the term "Down Low" has been attached to a negative connotation...much like most things used to classify, stereotype, and place African-Americans in a box. Executive Producer of the web series, No More Down Low TV, Earnest Willborn states that the term "Down Low" vilifies black men who aren't given an "Out" to be who they are. While, I agree that being "Down Low" is a coping mechanism to being in barless prisons, to say that sometimes we help with making these moniker's stick by exhibiting behaviors associated with the definitive would be an entirely different discussion and will be saved for another blog.

Reality TV is on the rise to being a game changer in the issues discussed and how those issues are being portrayed. It has provided a platform to address serious, well deserving issues that plague the black community and this nation. MTV's next documentary series True Life Presents: Living On The Down Low: Secrets, Lies, and Sex will introduce to us two young, black men and detail their struggles with their sexuality because of fear of loosing the very system that they will need for support. According to an exclusive interview provided to The Advocate Tarrodd is a vivacious, pansexual 23-year-old club promoter living in Akron, Ohio who recently got engaged to his girlfriend of six years. I presume that you will find it strange that his long time girl friend has never been to his home because he share his home with his boyfriend. The interview reveals that both found out about the other during the shows filming and thus has given Tarrodd a feeling of relief. "By mainstream standards, Tarrodd had very much lived life “on the down low.” He’s a young, urban black man terrified that coming out will separate him from his family, his friends, and everyone he holds dear. That fear led Tarrodd to hide his sexuality and pursue multiple partners of different genders without telling his fiancee. And while the so-called down low reached the height of public attention years ago, it hasn’t just faded away." (The Advocate)

The first show in the series is the story of a young man that goes by the name Coke. While Tarrod and Coke both share similar stories, Coke's story is far more heart tugging. The soon to be father was living with his mother at the beginning of filming. The documentary will show the intensified shame that Coke endures after coming out to his mother and girlfiriend who did exactly what he expected them to do: ostracize him.

The beautiful part of this documentary is that again, it forces our community, our nation to have conversations about forbidden issues that we all have or had. AIDS/HIV continue to spread in our community. Families are being destroyed and lives are being lost because noone is talking. To have your life placed inside of a box is suffocating when all you want to do is live. It is my hope that the concept of LGBTQ because synomymous with humans in the eyes of mainstream America and its conservatives. The MTV Series airs Wednesday, May 22, 2013. Check your local listings for show times.

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Reign: A Splash of Class Powered by Des Torres and Co. and Women of Plenty Press Release

Women of Plenty/Des Torres and Co.

www.ReignASplashOfClass.Weebly.com

destorresandcompany@gmail.com

Women of Plenty and Des Torres and Co. Presents Reign: A Splash of Class

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Houston, TX – Women of Plenty and Des Torres and Co.will present Reign: A Splash of Class, taking place at Club Isis located at 1010 Prairie St. on May 10, 2013 and featuring Jurni Rayne, Melotree, Temper Taking Over, Deontazz of Xstudcee, Look-Alive hosted by Video Vixen Tish.

Women of Plenty and Des Torres and Co is proud to bring Reign: A Splash of Class to Houston, TX for the renowned LGBT Pride, Houston Splash. Reign: A Splash of Class will bring you the most sophisticated affair for the fashion forward LGBT professionals during Houston's most sought after event in the community. Guests will be provided an eloquently posh experience with a red carpet flair. Entertained by talents such as Temper who hails from Chicago destined to be the hottest female rapper in the game, Jurni Rayne all the way from Dallas, TX, along with her band will have attendees melting over their sultry sound. Deontazz of XSTUDCEE will be  sure to live out their motto and make the panties wetta, and last but certainly not least Look Alive whose name sets the standard as the most talented Hip-Hop/Poet artist in the game will be gracing the stage. Hosted by  the Sexy Video Vixen Tish, Reign: A Splash of Class will be an event to remember. Promotional sponsorship has been provided by Sweet Tooth Media, Xstudcee, N2J Media, Teko the Model, Yellastud, Studs are In, LLC, The Artists The Series,  DJ TnT, BF, and RI.  

To experience this mature, class, and upscale affair for women that loves women and has an appreciation for all things lovely tickets can be purchased:
 Presale until May 5, 2013 $15.00, At the Door - $20.00, VIP(Skip the Line, Appetizers, Red Carpet Photo and Mix and Mingle with Celebrities) - $25.00
A Limited amount of Tables and Sections are available
A Limited amount of Tables and Sections are availableVisit http://www.eventbrite.com/event/6132485429/efbevent  or contact Des @ destorresandcompany@gmail.com to purchase tickets.

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Check Out the KPFT 90.1 Queer Voices Radio Interview about Reign: A Splash of Class with MsNightLyfe and the Reign:- A Splash of Class Promo Video  

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"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

VH-1's Gossip Game's Vivian vs. Steph Lova: Opinion Based On Fact

 

 

VH-1 is no stranger to reality's drama and all its queens and kings. neither is it a stranger to talks about who's transgender or not. If you recall, on VH-1's Love and Hip Hop Atlanta it was rumored that Joseline Hernandez was a transgender woman. Remaining consistant, their newest reality show to grace the airwaves is The Gossip Game, which chronicles the Gossip Bloggers of Hip-Hop. Well into the season, showing on Monday nights, the latest episode has stirred a few feathers of those in the LGBTQ community. In Episode 5, gossip blogger,  Vivian Billings and former colleague, radio personality Steph Lova engage in a heated altercation centering around sexuality....that of Kayden, Vivian's son who is transgender and Steph Lova's possible lesbianism. On the show, Steph Lova publicly announced with intent to harm that Vivian shouldn't be concerned about her sexuality because she (Vivian) has a "daughter" who's a lesbian....This occured after Steph was taunted by Vivian's cousin accusing her wanting to do more than just work with Vivian. Realistically who cares if Steph Lova is a lesbian, hides or hones lesbian tendencies. The fact that she purposely "outed" Kayden on public television without his permission is tacky and forces the public to form an opinion. It doesn't matter the provocation, to bring up something clearly disclosed in confidence and on  much more personal note was such a low blow. In the world of psychology we call that act, deflection. In which a person deviates from the question of or if and place it on someone else that the world possibly doesn't know about, because they could never truly know about them.

As a lesbian who wasn't always sure of self, I can relate to Steph, and its clear that she is more than defensive about the discussion of her being a lesbian. Her act was more than alarming because, it showed her pain, her insecurity, and just how deep her struggle is.

In an interview with NewNowNext, Vivian and her son Kayden spoke candidly about the "outing". Vivian too believes that Steph's reaction is due to her own struggles with sexuality. As society progresses to understand, acknowledge and include the LGBTQ community, homophobia is still very much prevalent in Hip-Hop. Kayden stated on last Monday's episode that he isn't a lesbian, but a

transgender male. He reiterates to NNN that it was no secret but what makes it degrading is that it was announced publicly with the intent to hurt his mother, and he had absolutely nothing to do with Steph's and his mother's disagreement. Sadly in the Black community this type of behavior isn't uncommon. It has its remnants of the crab in the bucket syndrome, but what's deeper is that it comes from a place of hurt and shame. Hurt people, hurt people. It also forces us as a community to delve deeper into a spiritual place and have real, life conversations about issues that are still taboo. The problem is known and seen and its time for resolution.

One of the positives of what was intended for bad is that Steph's disclosure forced Kayden and Vivian to talk openly, publicly, and positively about sexuality. It showed acceptance, attempt, and aspiration to grow. Another positive in the midst of "coming out" is that we are at least talking about it because we see the effects it has on people of color. An underlying issue in the episode is that of Domestic Violence. Kayden referred to memories of seeing his mother beat. That too needs more discussion. Usually, reality shows are merely entertainment and that in and of itself is haunting. Enjoying
someone else's pain just to help us deflect from our own hurts us too. However, I see hope and thus light and life is before us.

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Dallas Mavericks and Brittney Griner: Paradoxical Potential

Mark Cuban is a name synonymous with words such as risky, outlandish, and bold. An avid business man and known "shark" is once again engaging in venturesome activity. Mark Cuban has announced that he is considering women's basketball star, Brittney Griner in the 2013 2nd round draft pick. Cuban states even if she isn't selected he's considering giving her a spot on the team's summer league squad. Cuban's logic behind sexually integrating the NBA is that there is great marketing opportunities and that she's the best option considering those players remaining after the 1st round draft pick. Cuban believes she's capable and wants to give her the opportunity to prove that she is.

Houston native, Brittney Griner has an impressive basketball record. The 6'8'' Baylor player has earned three consecutive Big 12 player of the year awards and she is the second all time scorer in Women's NCAA Division One basketball. She is arguably the most transcendent female college basketball player of all time. Noted for her athleticism and physicality, in a male dominated industry it is no wonder that she is also criticized for those same qualities. Often being likened to a man on the court, Brittney has received some negative feedback for her authority and achievement on the court. Responding to Cuban, with "lets do it" will equally get Griner praised and condemned.

The best part about this potential endeavor is that it speaks volumes

to the movement of equality. Though Cuban's move isn't pioneering in integrating the sexes in sports, it most certainly is a critical move during time of revolution. Let's think that Cuban's sole motivation for considering Griner isn't JUST marketing and earning opportunity, but maybe this move is revolutionary in that equality is based on skill and merit not sex or the perception of it. Maybe on the court he sees an outstanding, well deserving talent. However, there is still concern about the perils Griner will face if she makes it to the team. Sure we'd like to think that we live in a day and time in which women can do the same things a man can do probably better because women think differently. And while this "new" way have thinking has done some wonderful things for women, femininity and the female empowerment movement, Griner being accepted as a part of the Dallas Mavericks would only add to the de-feminizing rhetoric that she's already been exposed to. For a moment, I thought that the WNBA no longer existed. Certainly we know of the inequalities that exists between the WNBA and the NBA such as salary, air time and the like. If she makes it to the NBA what will that mean for the WNBA? Will it be no more? Will other women players seek try out opportunities in the NBA before considering the WNBA? Will women become more susceptible to negative innuendos from those currently players and the low-level players that are chosen after a girl? We all know the effects of misogynistic bullying and the outcome could be a major fall out for women's liberation movement, but I think its worth the risk.

The key for all women and sports fans alike is to remain optimistic that the Cuban along with team officials will be make the best choice. I'm sure that Griner, will bring her best with her to try outs.

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Queen Bey: Says Bow Down...as H-Town Stands Up

Well if you want to see how fast someone's panties can get in a bunch all you need to do is something outside of the box that they put you in and almost instantly, panties worn by hypocrites  self- proclaimed judges, and delusional gods all simultaneously synchronize into this decades worst wedgies. If that's to much work, we could always ask Beyonce'. Mrs. Carter has long been the topic of discussion, hate, praise and everything in between. Her latest opinion jerker is her single, Bow Down from her Blue Ivy album.

Re-introducing fans to Sasha Fierce, it seems that Queen Bey brought every bottled "Read" that she'd been harboring during her stint of political correctedness (Yea, I made that Up). She may just earn another fan with this song, however. Prior to the release of this single, Bey remained relevant, after receiving publicity about her inaugural performance and then her show stopping performance at the Super Bowl. After stirring up the gossip mills and brews, Bey does it again a midst what appears to be more of a fan fueled twitter beef with Keshia Cole. Cole criticizes Queen Bey for not being "consistent" enough in the public display of class. But she isn't the only one displeased with Beyonce's alter ego returning. Some of Bey's fans seem to like the "prude" high society presentation that she gives the world and according to Facebook posts and status updates, this song Bow Down was "out of character" for her and possibly knocks her out of the race to be America's Next Best Role Model. Have fans forgot other edgy songs with the Queen Bey stamp on it such as Bills, Irreplaceable, Ego, and Diva? While all address a woman-centered topic and range from one end of the ratchet spectrum to another, its all a matter of perception. Bow Down is another knot on that belt...But when was an instruction manual released on operating the box that they've built and put her in? It is no secret that many people view celebrities in a light specific to their experiences, and while I have never been a huge Bey fan, I think that her "new" naysayers are disappointed in their glorified perception of the image they created for her.

Any and all artists should be able to create and perform without censorship. Its not the artist fault that people get offended by their creative expressions or truths. For Bey, Now should be no exception. Bey has actually earned the right to say what needs to be said in the way that she want to be say it.  I actually think this track is rather strategic...genius even. Returning to the her down south roots, she samples Texas greats such as UGK and shouts out Willie D. She reclaims a shakeable home base and rekindle the fire. Further more, Bow Down shows the rest of the world that she is human, not super human. Hats off to you Bey for doing what you want to do!!!

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

When Reality TV ACTUALLY Forces A Reality Check: Transgendered Breakthroughs- Loving Laverne Cox

When it comes to reality television there's a myriad of opinions, just as there are of anything revealing the ugly truth forcing the sleepwalkers to really look at their pretty lies. This makes people uncomfortable. While the focus here could be on the hate spewed at all things different or "abnormal", its imperative that revolutionary accomplishments be highlighted. After all it is Black History Month and the month of love and us here at Sweet Tooth Media, just LOVE cultural trendsetters.

Browsing through the net looking for the latest in black entertainment and I run across this Huffington Post article on Laverne Cox. Laverne is the first African-American transgender woman to produce and star in her own television show. Getting her start on VH1's I Want To Work For Diddy, she made history being the first African American transgender woman to appear on a reality television. That led to her landing a starring and producing role in the spin off, TRANSform Me. Making her stride in history and on the screen, Laverne has appeared in the independent feature film, Musical Chairs in which she was nominated for the GLAAD Media Award, The Exhibitionists, and two movies not yet released, “36 Saints” and “Grand Street." Laverne guest starred on Law and Order SVU and other television shows. Ms. Cox has been quite the pioneer for LGBTQ representation in television.

So, I find it rather alarming that she hasn't been supported by the very community she is providing a voice for. Laverne states that the Trans community heavily criticized her for her role in TRANSform Me. While she expected from the African American community she didn't from the community in whence she came. This is alarming in the age of the demand for equal rights for all citizens. As a devout and proud member of the LGBTQ community, I don't understand the cry for equality from those outside of the community, when inside of the community we're at such a disarray. Nevertheless, Ms. Cox shifted her focus from the opinion of others to self-love and acceptance. Reminding us all that our journey belongs to us and only us, anyone else is lucky enough to catch a ride. This re-routing of energy has led to various other opportunities for Ms. Cox and I'm more than interested to see the rest of her work with the world.


Photos Courtesy of www.LaverneCox.com

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"

Show Me You Love Me: The Punany Poets Public Display of Affection Tour

Jessica Holter, Author / Producer / Activist and Creator of the Punany Poets is one of the most marvelous women, whom I've had the pleasure of working with. As a multifaceted, multi-talented writer, that has connected her passion to her purpose Jessica continues to produce some of the most amazing shows in the world. Addressing taboo topics in minority communities, more specifically, African-American communities, she faces some criticisms, however, she takes pride in being totally supported by her fan base. In a time where HIV/AIDS cases exist at an alarming rate, Jessica, approaches the topic seductively and poetically, to bring awareness to the epidemic that has been infectious in our community. Jessica's lyrical attack on the subject matter has been just as infectious. Engaging audiences across the globe, Jessica and the Punany Poets, performs on a platform that encourages couples to open up lines of communication, experience sheer sensuality and have a healthy and productive sexual relationship. Jessica states, that ..."knowledge is freedom and we cant continue living in ignorance with education readily made available to us..."


Her latest adventure is the 2013 PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION TOUR and is coming to a city and venue near you!!! Jessica Holter's The Punany Poets star in The Punany Experience, A scintillating showcase of Storytelling, Erotic Verse, Comedy, Theatrics Exotic Dance (Adult Language, Artistic Nudity, Audience Interaction *Adults Only) Catch the Newest Punany Poet, MsNightLyfe on the Public Displays of Affection Tour! The 2013 PUBLIC DSPLAYS OF AFFECTION TOUR is a three-movement suite of Poetry, Song, Spoken Word, and Dramatizaton. The individual movements within the 2013 PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION are as follows: The PUNANY EXPERIENCE, The HEAD DOCTOR SHOW, and The SECRET Of The PEARL. Catch the Show ANY WHERE!!!

To Purchase tickets visit www.PunanyTickets.com 

"Buzzworthy Cravings, Creatively Satisfied!"